Gutenberg Lampoon » Mike Tobias

Back­story: Obama was address­ing Chi­nese youth in Shang­hai tonight when he revealed that he never used Twit­ter. This is shock­ing because Obama’s suc­cess in the 2008 elec­tion was due to his pres­ence on social media. He looked like the cooler Pres­i­den­tial nominee…which wasn’t tough since McCain doesn’t even use email…

So all these time you thought it was Obama tweet­ing those his­toric tweets — ones like ‘hum­bled’ (his bril­liant 7-character response to win­ning the Nobel Peace Prize) and ‘Pres­i­dent Obama: “I still believe we can do great things, and that here and now we will meet history’s test.“‘ (his his­toric speak­ing in 3rd per­son to quote him­self in a tweet) — were not really Pres­i­dent Obama!

Impeach this son of a bitch from the white house imme­di­ately! Oh, Fox News was right, I should’ve never trusted you Obama. How can you be the most pow­er­ful man on the earth when you can’t use the most pow­er­ful waste of time on the earth?