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I'm Mr. Manager
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Obama’s Nuclear Wintour

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

Picture 30Blue State Dig­i­tal, the firm that made Obama go viral, is now lend­ing its hand to Vogue. The firm will help Vogue with their key prob­lem: imple­ment­ing paid sub­scrip­tions on Vogue.com.

That’s right, Anna Win­tour thinks the web is in fash­ion this year. And after look­ing around, it is fab­u­lous! It’s dar­ing, where ugh news­pa­pers are such a hot mess right now. You don’t even know, dar­lings. Google and Twit­ter are fierce, and I’m lovin it! Come on, Key­board Cat, let’s see you work that runway!

Sigh… I’ve exhausted my fash­ion speak for the month.

Now this brings up the ques­tion of whether Ms. Win­tour will cre­ate his­tory by hav­ing the first web­site where 80% of the pages are just ads.

New technology helps fat ass realize how fat he is

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

graphite-sm copyBecause the scale wasn’t ter­ri­fy­ing enough, there’s a site (Graphite) that lets you track your weight, calo­rie intake, and exer­cise. Pretty much all the things I never wanted to know or do…

Graphite will also help you with how to eat healthy. I’ll save you the trou­ble of vis­it­ing the site, the way to eat healthy is to stop eat­ing all the foods you love, fat ass.

Now, get ready to see a graph that pin­points your weight as it rises along points of fat­i­tude (fat­i­tude sounds like a fat guy’s atti­tude.) The prob­lem is that the line that rep­re­sents my weight moves in the oppo­site direc­tion of the line that rep­re­sents my self esteem. It does how­ever move in the same direc­tion as my love for CiCi’s Pizza.