I got a fake email from UPS, phishing for my info. Had I been a businessman or someone with money in general, I’d probably would’ve been a key target for this spam e-mail.
I’m not… and that’s sad. I don’t have enough going on in my life where a spam e-mail would appeal to me. My inbox is only filled with Urban Outfitters deals and a newsletter on cats. Friends don’t even e-mail me. It’s just a wasteland where human interaction was once possible, like a mini mall with empty shops.
So right now the only spam getting my attention are the ones about my male parts and making them bigger and manlier. Those still interest me.
James Litpon is in a new LG ad (below), where he tells a teenager, who is in the midst of sexting his gf, that he should “give it a ponder” before sending her a pic of his junk. After the kid realizes that his girlfriend loves Twit Pic, he decides that it isn’t a great idea.
Thanks, James Lipton, holder of wisdom! You have taught me that sexting is not always the most brilliant idea… or is it?
I mean, sure, it’s a bad idea for teens. One sexted pic from Suzie could land pre-pubescent Jimmy in prison, but me, an adult, I say share the wealth!
My junk is my money maker! If I’m not sexting pics of it to the world, I’m losing dinero. Why stop at Twit Pics? I need a full website dedicted to my sausage. I need business cards I could just leave at Starbucks. Maybe some product placement in an upcoming film, like Iron Man 2 (It could have its own armor.)
Luckily, I’ve got the best penis PR firm (heh, firm) on the planet. These guys have created the best viral marketing campaign involving billboards. Dozen of people will pass billboards reading “Is it in you?” And that’s it! They’ go, “Is what in me?” And when I’m doing some chick I just met in bar, I’ll whisper “yes,” and like the freaking ending of Unusual Suspects, she’ll be all like, Whoa! That’s some good marketing. And then I don’t pull out, and boom she’s got a baby. Not just any baby, a Mike Tobias baby that will market for me.
Marketing win!
Now excuse me while I got text pics of my junk to my address book and Facebook friends.
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The British government passed the Digital Economy Bill, a bill that will kicks the ass of illegal filesharers. It uses a 3 strike system that ends in the brutal punishment of the entire household of the accused filesharer. That punishment? Being banned from using the internet. That’s right, one family member can screw it up for the the rest. And a family without easy access to porn will surely destroy itself.
The bill also brings stricter rules on ratings for British Games. Controversial titles like “Fawlty Towers Rail Shooter” and “BBC Fighter” will now have more restrictive ratings for parents to ignore or remain oblivious to.
The bill also punishes people for improper grammar in blog posts — shit, kinda like ending a sentence in a preposition. Oh well. I’m American, I’ve been butchering proper English ever since I was born a Mexican boy.
States side, we’ve had our own battles with net neutrality and pirating. Will we look across the pond for some guidance? This blogger hopes not. You know why, brits, we kicked your ass in the 1783, bitches! What, what!!!
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