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Michael Tobias
I'm Mr. Manager
Eric Carroll, William Crawford
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Twitter

Twitter will have ad system: Maybe I spoke a little too soon

Friday, November 20th, 2009

costoloTwit­ter COO Dick Cos­tolo says that com­pa­nies jizzing their pants at an oppor­tu­nity to part­ner with Twit­ter will have the chance in Twitter’s new adver­tis­ing sys­tem. The details are sparse, but Cos­tolo is hyp­ing up the new adver­tis­ing sys­tem with buzz words like “cool” and “non-traditional” and “I swear, this isn’t bull shit, I have a tots awe­some idea…” (Okay, that last one I made up.)

So when any offi­cial doesn’t give me details, I do what any nor­mal jour­nal­ist would do: I make them up.

Now what would would a Twit­ter adver­tis­ing sys­tem look like? Well, my guess is ads related to what you’re tweet­ing about, much like Face­book tar­geted ads.

This means if I tweet:

Cod­ing not done; looks like I’m burn­ing the can­dle at both ends.”

I’ll see:

Love can­dles? 10% off our entire inven­tory of scented candles!

But hey, that’s not so bad. I’ll take that over the bank­ruptcy of Twit­ter. Cos­tolo only divulged that Twitter’s new adver­tis­ing sys­tem will be avail­able in the near future.

Facebook gets richer while Twitter gets Frenchier — and still doesn’t make money!

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

Two big social net­work sto­ries out today. Face­book is now val­ued at over 9 bil­lion dol­lars, and Twit­ter now has a French version.

Of course Facebook’s story is a tiny bit more impres­sive. After all, unlike Twit­ter, Face­book can pay its employ­ees from rev­enue rather than fund­ing. That’s some­thing Twit­ter has been strug­gling with for a while. They’ve had some great ideas… like adding a Retweet but­ton (some­thing Twit­ter apps could already do), and adding Twit­ter Lists (some­thing Twit­ter apps could already do..), and Trend­ing Top­ics (which is con­tin­u­ally pop­u­lated with #hash­tags brain­stormed by sce­nea­gers.) But they’ve yet to fig­ure out how to make money off their broad base of users, which now includes the peo­ple of France.

American President never tweeted; Twittergate!

Monday, November 16th, 2009

Obama TwitterBack­story: Obama was address­ing Chi­nese youth in Shang­hai tonight when he revealed that he never used Twit­ter. This is shock­ing because Obama’s suc­cess in the 2008 elec­tion was due to his pres­ence on social media. He looked like the cooler Pres­i­den­tial nominee…which wasn’t tough since McCain doesn’t even use email…

So all these time you thought it was Obama tweet­ing those his­toric tweets — ones like ‘hum­bled’ (his bril­liant 7-character response to win­ning the Nobel Peace Prize) and ‘Pres­i­dent Obama: “I still believe we can do great things, and that here and now we will meet history’s test.“‘ (his his­toric speak­ing in 3rd per­son to quote him­self in a tweet) — were not really Pres­i­dent Obama!

Impeach this son of a bitch from the white house imme­di­ately! Oh, Fox News was right, I should’ve never trusted you Obama. How can you be the most pow­er­ful man on the earth when you can’t use the most pow­er­ful waste of time on the earth?

BRITNEY SPEARS IS A SATANIST!!!!

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

britney-hacked-1Okay not really… some­one hacked her account. They put up two tweets about her hail­ing lucifer and lov­ing the New World Order, and slapped on an Illu­mi­nati back­ground. What a kick ass idea! Demo­nizer, demon-demonizer, you’re a demonizer!

BRITNEY SPEARS IS A SATANIST!!!!',tweet:'Okay not really... someone hacked her account. They put up two tweets about her hailing lucifer and ',description:'Okay not really... someone hacked her account. They put up two tweets about her hailing lucifer and '})">

Twitter Trends are going local!

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

Picture 20Word on the street is that Twit­ter is going to local­ize trend­ing top­ics. This is going to rev­o­lu­tion­ize the way we look at morons. Before Twit­ter trends, you couldn’t find real-time moronic whims. Twit­ter broke the bar­rier and let us wit­ness the true extent of human inanity. Oh, and it’s truly extenty.

And until now the world of trend­ing top­ics seemed too large for my mind to grasp. Trend­ing top­ics pop­ping up from around the world, across our oceans, from Britain to Bur­bank. So vast when I only wanted to dis­cover the most pop­u­lar top­ics of my small community.

Now Twit­ter has answered my needs. (Tweeds?) And soon Twit­ter will launch a solid prod­uct that has their strongest fea­ture: some­thing use­less that doesn’t make them money.