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Michael Tobias
I'm Mr. Manager
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iPhone

Google Nexus One

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

Nexus_One2_270x491Yes­ter­day the hul­la­baloo was all about the new Google mobile device, Nexus One. It was atop the head­lines of Huff­in­g­ton Post and New York Times, Mash­able, and in the blo­gos­phere and Twit­ter in gen­eral. This is a great deal of hype for a phone, which is now the lat­est con­tender against Apple’s iPhone.

It just makes me imag­ine the cell phone indus­try is now a 1970s Samu­rai film, where iPhone sits atop a tall moun­tain. Chal­lengers come from dif­fer­ent vil­lages to show­down with the iPhone. They have clever tricks like slider key­boards and wire­less charg­ing, but ulti­mately the iPhone cuts them down by hav­ing multi-touch and a unmatch­able app library.

And for all this talk about a great phone, I still have a Motoral RAZR. Not because I like the piece of shit, but because I’m a broke grad­u­ate. Its fea­tures are it can dial and it has a screen.My 9 key has stopped work­ing, so I can only call friends who were already in my address book, friends whose phone num­bers don’t include the num­ber 9, and if I’m being mur­dered I have to hope that blank-1–1 will get me someone.

Even if I did have the money, I’m not sure I would invest in a fancy phone like the Nexus One or iPhone. I might just get another sim­ple device. There’s some­thing scary about some­one hav­ing the abil­ity to reach me via 6 dif­fer­ent ways:phone, text, email, Twit­ter, Fbook, and a clever pigeon with a note on its leg. If you have a smart­phone you’re guar­an­teed to be con­tacted by the for­mer 5, and some­times it’s bet­ter to have less ways for the ass­holes in my life to reach me.

AT&T CEO Wants iPhone Users to Limit Usage… WTF?

Wednesday, December 9th, 2009

Picture 19The Wall Street Jour­nal released a sta­tis­tic that 3% of AT&T’s cus­tomer base are data hogs, using at smack­ing 40% of the total band­width. This has AT&T CEO Ralph de la Vega look­ing for a new incentive-based sys­tem to cur­tail the 3% from using so much data.

Wait… so you let me pur­chase a device, exclu­sive to you, that has the abil­ity to browse the inter­net any­where on your net­work, but then you don’t have the band­width to sup­port a nation­wide use of the device? So instead of devel­op­ing, you’re going to limit peo­ple? Vega, you be trippin!

AT&T’s new com­mer­cials should go, “Ver­i­zon is wrong! We have great 3G cov­er­age! Unless too many peo­ple overuse it… join now so you can over-stuff the net­work even more?”

Well we can hope for is an app that can help iPhone users con­sume less. It can be called “Lube Up for Ralph de la Vega.”

[Via — Mashable]

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I’m Going to Blame These iPhone Apps for the Fact I’m Not Getting Laid

Friday, November 27th, 2009

swap1…not the fact that I spend 17 hours a day work­ing on this blog.

They’re called ‘Stud or Dud’ and ‘Are They Really Sin­gle,’ and it’s fuck­ing over men who have pasts to hide. The app can tell a girl if her suitor is mar­ried, has a crim­i­nal record, and even if he’s filed for bank­ruptcy. Blast!

Men, we have to stop these apps from becom­ing pop­u­lar. The only rea­son she should be tak­ing out her phone is take down my num­ber, not to find out about those times I was arrested for smug­gling coke.

The only way to defeat this is to build an app of my own. It’s called, “Are Her Tit­ties Big Enough?” It uses the iPhone’s cam­era to snap a pic­ture of her tit­ties. The pic­ture is sent to a com­mand cen­ter of titty experts that will deter­mine if they are ban­jun­gas or itty bit­ties. They will then return a 3 page report on whether you can get freaky with them.

This should bal­ance the play­ing field… or get your iPhone broken.

[Via! — find out how the real apps work]