Okay, ladies, we all love Halloween. It’s the only time of year to dress like a skank and get away with it. Well, except for naughty elves at Christmas, sexy bunnies at Easter, American flag bikinis on July 4th, and don’t forget Father’s Day. And while that’s all fun, there are times when a slutty costume will get you some deep shiz.
Pregnant Girls
Once you’re pregnant, it’s okay to show your belly – just not in a sexy costume. You are no longer the hot chick. And that’s okay (thank god, less competition.)
While some ladies may not be showing, the ladies far into their pregnancy not only have to worry about their looks they have to worry about their baby. Just imaging having to give birth while you’re wearing a sexy Taxi cab driver outfit.
Moms
You’re a mom. Your a kid doesn’t want to be embarrassed as you take him or her trick or treating. Only do it if you can stand your neighborhood’s dads asking your kid to trade a candy bar for their mama’s cup of sugar.
Car Running Out of Gas
First off, you should’ve filled up your fucking tank. Just cause you look like a slut, doesn’t mean you have to be stupid. Not to mention, those dr. schoels footpads will be running out soon in those 6 inch stilleto heels you matched up with your sexy boxer costume.
Awkward Situations
One if your girlfriends take you to a gay club, they men there are not interested in your sexiness, duh. (Well maybe if you’re dressed up like the boxer.) 2) Whenever BYOB means Bring Your Own Bible, you don’t wanna be stuck playing Loaded Questions and the question is “something immeasurable.” You say penises, everyone else says God’s love.
Being Mistaken for Help
Next time you dress like a french maid, be sure to remember how rich your friends are. Otherwise you might be making hors d’oeurves and refilling champagne glasses all night.
But…
This doesn’t mean that your sexy costume can’t come in handy. Keep your purse in your trunk, so when a cop pulls you over you have to get it. And when you bend over to get it, his flashlight will be shining in direction of your path to getting out of a ticket.
Image source: http://flic.kr/p/5ajhJH
